formulae: hop + e
I'm feeling tired.. but I know I wont be able to sleep. Just like yesterday, I'll just toss and turn in bed till 2 and will be awake early in the morning. It's not even a deep sleep. Will be awake in between the night.
I know I suppose to be eating more especially since I'm fasting but I just dont have the appetite.
Compared to last week, I actually dont feel hungry at all in the afternoon even though I'm doing more work then last week. In fact, the pau I've eaten ended up being thrown out. So the only things in my stomach after break fast are just the 3 wafer sticks.
I'm trying my best to smile and pretend nothing happen. but I know I'm not doing pretty well at doing so.. Even one of my patient asked me why I keep dazing off looking at nothing. He just make it sounds as I'm one of them.
Though there's plenty of fights going on in the ward with the countless vulgarities, I just pretty much cant be bothered. I know this sound unsafe but even if they were to hit me, I doubt I'll pretty much care. They are mentally unstable anyway.. In fact, it will be a pretty good thing.
Sorry if you were expecting an IMH posting post but I cant tell you. Not for now. I'm not even mentally there.
8 more days.. Hope it gets better on every aspect.
I just want to see your smile and I know you're smiling more. but I guess I cant have everything. In the end, I just ended up hurting myself.
/Hopped!
12:11 AM
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